Well-Done Church Resources

Written by a Missionary Kid!

Being a missionary’s daughter for almost 20 years has made the topic of missions near and dear to my heart, and I love sharing all about it!

I grew up traveling to different churches as my parents worked hard to raise support; I learned a second and then a third language; and I grew up being able to calculate time zone differences all over the world before I was 10!  Mine was an unusual childhood, but a rich one, full of experiences and life lessons that I learned younger than most.

However, something I always noticed growing up and especially sense now is that those who grew up in church don’t always know how to relate to missionary kids, and despite best intentions, both sides often end up misunderstood and discouraged.

As a kid, I used to take a lot of these experiences as intentional slights, which made me feel really out of place both on the foreign mission field and at “home” in America.  Nothing about my life on the mission field was “normal,” so to come back to the States and to be treated as a foreigner here, too, was difficult, frustrating, and discouraging.

Over the past few years, however, I have been blessed as an adult to talk to many other missionary families as well as American church families and have found this to be a VERY common trend. So, here are 10 practical ways to reach out to missionary families, specifically missionary kids, when they visit your church!

1. TALK TO THEM

Often, the first step is the hardest. Missionary kids on furlough have often not been to the States for at least 5 years. Some who have been born on the field may never have been to America before. And, when they are by themselves in a country as the only missionaries or Christians around, it gets LONELY. They are their only company. So, the best and easiest way to reach out to a missionary kid is by simply moving out of your comfort zone and talking to them – trust me, they’re glad to be noticed.

2. ASK AWAY

It is natural for any human to want to talk about themselves. And even if they seem quiet or stand-offish at first, missionary kids will usually be more than happy to answer ANY question you have!

Now, here are just a couple guidelines for this point. When I say ask questions, keep the questions PERSONAL and SPECIFIC. Generic questions like, “What’s it like in _____?” or “So, do you like being a missionary kid?” “What do you miss about America?” are really tough to answer and can be frustrating after you hear them hundreds of times. So, even ahead of time, think of more personal or them-centered questions to ask: What’s your favorite food? Where is your favorite place to shop there? Did you have to pack a lot of suitcases to get back to the States? What’s the worst travel experience you’ve ever had?

Just ask away, and you might learn something new!

3. GIVE GRACE

Along with these points, though, many of these kids or teens have not spent much time in the United States. That means their upbringing has been different than yours. There’s a good chance they have few to no friends, have never driven a car, never made cake from a box, and don’t know what you’re talking about when you mention just about any popular public figure, social media trend, or (yes) even grocery store. And, you may notice that their cultural references, interests, and assumptions may be completely foreign or “behind the times” to you.

This is one of the HARDEST things for missionary kids as they look for ways to relate to people or fit in, but just can’t because they aren’t always exposed or have access to the same things along the same timelines as their American counterparts.

All this to say, they’ve grown accustomed to a different way of living than you have, so be patient and kind and give them grace and time as they do their best to navigate being in America. They may put their foot in their mouth, talk too much, or not be able to immediately relate to you. But, please, don’t give up – they want a friend and will often be a very loyal, trustworthy one at that if you give them a chance.

4. LISTEN

This really goes hand in hand with many of the other points but do make sure that when you are talking with a missionary family, that you listen. Many times, they can’t always say what they want to say about life or hardships, but if you are there, listen closely, and pay attention to what you can pray for. Once again, these families are often isolated with little contact with other Christians or like-minded people, so be patient, let them tell their stories, and find ways to be a blessing to people who crave your attention and fellowship.

5. READ THE REPORTS

Let me just say this – missionaries do NOT write prayer letters for their own health hahaha I joke, but seriously, these are carefully crafted letters to YOU to let you know what they have going on in their country/church/ministry/family. For some in remote countries, this is the ONLY way they get news out. So, if you really want to be a blessing to a missionary family, be sure that you are reading those reports and prayer letters. These papers definitely do NOT tell the full story or give a complete picture of the family, but having some background information so that you may speak with the kids or family intelligently makes a difference. As missionary kids, we could definitely tell who had read our family’s prayer letter and who did not. It made for some very awkward situations, let me tell ya! But, if you want to show interest, do a little research, read the last prayer letter, and it will make a big impression!

6. PRAY PERSISTANTLY

This works right along with the last point. As you talk to them, ask questions, read their missionary reports, pay attention to what you can pray for, who you can pray for, and how you can pray for them. Prayer is often what keeps a family going. (Be on the look out for a new blog post coming soon about how to pray for missionaries!) Prayer is one of our most powerful weapons and greatest impacts we have as Christians. So, even long after the missionaries have left you, don’t forget to send up a prayer any time you’re thinking of them – they need it. Pray for God’s direction, protection, provision, and encouragement.

7. COLLECT THE PRAYER CARDS

The best way to remember to pray is by taking or printing the prayer card that most missionaries offer. This usually contains a picture of them, their names, and a few facts about their ministry and contact information. Some people like to collect missionary cards and display them or keep them in a photo album. Whatever you like to do – I would definitely encourage you to take one!

8. SET SOME SPACE

On a slightly different note, if you have missionaries in your  house or at your church for a longer period of time, do be mindful that they may need some space occasionally. Coming back to the States is overwhelming as is suddenly being around hundreds of people who speak the same language and who are all watching you. Not only that, but imagine living out of a suitcase, eating greasy take out for months at a time, meeting a new group of people every 48 hours, taking a 12-hour road trips, and THEN being expected to be on your best behavior in front of a crowd of people, answer their questions, and make a good impression – over and over and over again! It’s fun, and missionary kids usually enjoy the adventure, but it can be tiring and stressful, too. So, remember that while missionary kids are living in your home or staying at your church for a while, give them some space, let them breathe as a family, and understand that everyone needs a recharge once in a while.

9. LEAVE THEM WITH LOVE

One of my final tips is that if you ever get a chance to leave the missionary kids with a simple care package, give them a gift card, buy them ice cream, or give them a card with your email address or number in it – do it! Now, this gift does not and should not be something big. They have to travel a lot, so keep the care packages full of small, useful travel items or toys. Gift cards, as I mentioned before, are great! Giving is just another easy way to show you care about a person, so don’t be shy about giving something to a missionary kid – it will make an impact far greater and deeper than you can even understand.

10. REPEAT

My final encouragement to you is to not only do this for one missionary family or child that you meet. Talk to, ask after, give grace, listen to, read the prayer letters, collect the prayer cards, give, and pray for every single missionary you can! All mission fields, countries, peoples, living conditions, and challenges are different for every missionary, but no family deserves more or less encouragement and kindness from someone else! As you do your best to bless God’s messengers, watch how God will bless you!

Thanks for reading – I hope this has helped you in some way! If you received some help or encouragement from this article, please like it, comment below, and subscribe to our email so that you can be the FIRST to know about new content coming soon. If you’re a missionary kid and have anything to add, please also feel free to fill up the comment section! Can’t wait to hear from you soon!